Wednesday I got told by the one girl I was talking to (the one mentioned in the 9-13 entry below) that she is getting married in January ... not to me, of course! I'm happy for her, and for any of my friends I hear about who are getting married - but most of you know that for me, it's just frustrating. I'd like to be married, but I know I'm in no position to ask somebody to right now (financial and health issues - although health is a LOT better!), and even dating is hard at the moment. And of course, I have nobody I'm in any sort of GF-BF relationship yet at the moment, too - so I don't even have somebody to ask.

One piece of good news - the other lady changed her mind about talking to me (would you believe 30 minutes after this???) - not that there's any hope with her. We'll be friends and that's it (she has a boyfriend - that was the trouble.) So there is still no one for me yet.

Grrr....

---

Entry from September 13th that was accidentally "Private"... oops...

Just called one of my female friends I got back in touch with a few hours ago... turns out before and after I would go over to her house last year, (we talked a lot) she was being beaten up by her ex-boyfriend who she was living with... No wonder he was always there when I was! I had felt that something was wrong there... but I didn't know how to ask, and she told me that she wouldn't have told me back then, because I would have gotten ballistic on the ex-boyfriend, and rightfully so, and I would have been the one with broken bones, not him. Or I would have stopped coming over - and she wanted me to come over, despite all this happening.

She finally moved out after I got to Okinawa - which is why I couldn't contact her when I wrote the entry a month ago about not having anybody I'm dating... (We got back in touch a week after that)

No, different person than most of the "girlfriend" entries I've written - although I'd like this person to be, and she'll be comfortable enough around me now to let me be her boyfriend when she gets back, she says. (She's not the person that told me not to talk to her anymore, either. That lady has not changed her mind, and I don't expect her to.)

Well, I don't have too much happening.

My friend is now awake... she doesn't remember too much of the last few months yet, and she's spotty farther back - she's having to relearn some things before she leaves the hospital. She barely remembers me at all, even though we've talked for 3 years. The friend who's letting me know how things are doing says "that's too bad - you really seem to be a nice guy". At least she remembers me a little!

I've had a "spot fever" the last few days... other than that, my health has been good.

I'm making arrangements to sing a duet in my church - plans are it'll be the 3rd weekend in March. Health permitting, of course! We're doing Steven Stewart's "The True Messiah"... it's a beautiful song!

Still no progress on the job front... Such is life.

Had something church-related every day this week, however. FHE Monday, institute class Tuesday, choir Wednesday, home teaching Thursday (saw one person), a fireside Friday, a temple trip Saturday, and church on Sunday, of course, including a potluck dinner this week. I've got to decide what I'm making, I've got a reputation to uphold!

( Lyrics for 'The True Messiah' )

Just talked to the (GI) doctor at noon... yes, start reducing my prednisone again (so I'll be on 30 starting Saturday, and then continue on the previous schedule), come in for the blood work on Monday - his clinic won't be open on Saturday for me to pick up the orders at, don't worry about the cough - that'll be part of life that I get them, yes, do everything else, and come in on March 18th and see him again...

I didn't mention one thing earlier - One of my friends (computer, but not LJ - she subscribes to my journal via e-mail) went into a coma with high fevers from a bad case of pneumonia last last week. She lives 200 miles away from here, so I can't go down there and sit at the hospital bed like I'd like to be able to do, and I've been worried about her.

I ended up getting some good news last night about the friend (one of her friends is letting me know what's going on) - she had woke up for a bit - and specifically asked the friend visiting to let me know what was going on. (she was already)

That's a good enough sign I was less worried - and I actually got 6 hours straight sleep last night, so worrying about her may have been a good part of the problem with sleeping lately, too!

So things are doing well.

One piece of bad news - Dad's March visit isn't gonna happen... They don't want to send him to a seminar right then. He says that's a good thing - one pair of trans-pacific plane flights a winter is enough!

Well, I came back from visiting my grandparents a few days ago. Everything is going fine now... Health seems to have improved to "98%" now that I'm on the medications and watching things.

My parents are going to have me visit them for 3 months starting mid-next month. I'm a little anxious, but I'll have lots of fun, too. Will also visit other relatives on the way.

The movie I was watching two entries back was "Princess Diaries" - I liked it.

My roommate is setting up a double date... We'll have to see what happens there.

Time for me to get to bed...

I got poked and prodded at the doctor's Thursday. Was feeling a little sore, but that's to be expected, plus had my blood drawn again (vampires!)

It's now official. I have Crohn's disease. I've been expecting this to happen since the colonoscopy late last month. They drew some blood last month to do some checks and they came out positive.

It's a relief to know that they know what's wrong.

Ended up getting what I call the "baseline lecture" about what to do, what not to do, when to call the doctor, that sort of thing. I'll be on that expensive medication for a long time, no way around it. I'm also supposed to stay on a multivitamin, as well as Citrucal, and get myself a regular "primary care" physician. Next "GI doctor" (the one I've been going to) appointment is in October, and I'll be getting some X-rays done in order to see how things are progressing then.

Got some of my medical bills, too. OUCH! Oh, well, that's life!

Friday night was a group date - needed to take my mind off this, so I went. Went through a corn maze and had some frozen custard afterwards. Was fun.

Gotta go to (a few) stores today, as well as turn in more job apps and follow up on some already out. (I just woke up - at 9am! I'm finally on something resembling a schedule!)

I know I haven't been writing in my journal lately - and dramaprincess - don't feel so bad, OK? In August, I spend my last day of being 27!

I don't like too much of R. Kelly's stuff, but I've been listening to this one for the last few days... and I like it - listened to it at a dance last week.

Gotta be somewhere at 12:15 today... I'm meeting someone - she just wants "to be a friend." I can understand where she's coming from - she had her reasons, and I'm not going to go into them, but I'd like to meet her anyway.



I'm not taking German anymore - I don't like banging my head against brick walls! I'll take Spanish 1 in the summer. (and hopefully 2 in the fall, 3 in the spring) which means I won't graduate until May 2003, but oh, well! Such is life.

Other classes are going fine!

Well, the package was my LiveJournal T-Shirt - they sent it in a Priority Mail BOX... so it didn't fit at all! But hey, that's all right - I've already got one person asking me about the shirt. He was puzzled about the slogan on the back.

Today's been good so far - but I have a date tonight I'm anxiously awaiting... I want to take a nap, but I can't fall asleep, I'm so anxious!

I'm going to try after the video for this song is over.

OK - I'm going to get dressed, head to the post office to send stuff out and pick up the PO Box (I HOPE my LJ shirt is in! I can't remember when I ordered it, I just want it to be in - as well as my book), head to Bingham to cash in my meal points... then I might just get started on this report I have to write.

But anyways, my last week...

Friday and Saturday was a Young Single Adults conference, and like most of them, it was just GREAT! Went to both the dances... I only danced with one girl twice, and she is... well, I think "drop-dead pretty" describes her - she's in my ward, but I probably will NEVER be able to date her. She's also a trained dancer, has been since age 7, so she's on a different order from the rest of the girls there as far as that's concerned.

Sunday was a good day. Hectic, but good. Usual Sunday hectic, plus had a baptism.

Monday I ended up dropping German 2 - this is a bid to save my GPA because I felt WAY overloaded and I was heading for a F in that class and a C in another that I shouldn't be getting C's in (one of my CS classes)! I now have 12 credits, which is a lot easier - don't feel I have to rush so much during the day

Tuesday night I ended up going to the new senator training meeting. The Rules Committee chair and the Speaker were there, as well as the Clerk (don't mind my babbling if you aren't at Mizzou)

Wednesday was REALLY hectic.

Thursday I FINALLY got my room cleaned - it needed it - we had a health and safety inspection on Thursday evening. Had to unplug our second fridge temporarily.

Friday... well, Friday was a good day.

Plus, on Friday, I had my Statistics test... I got an A on that one, I just know it.
Had to run back to the dorm and get the homework I forgot to bring to class! This is why I don't like cleaning my room - I can't find things afterwards!

This morning - well... things haven't happened yet! We'll see.

Challenge for those who read my journal:
The song I picked for this entry was played over the credits for a movie that came out this summer. I did see it. Care to try and guess which one? I usually mention - this time I won't until someone gets it right!

I'll print the whole lyrics to help - this is a very beautiful song... Almost ethereal in texture, I'll give you that much of a hint. (which is why I'm writing the lyrics the way I do - I break the lines where the singer pauses) I'm getting the soundtrack when I can.

free
the dream within
the stars are crying
a tear
a sigh
escapes from heaven
and worlds end

breathe
the dream within
the mystifying
we tremble and spin
suspended within
look beyond
where hearts can sleep
dream in peace
trust love
believe
we tremble and spin
suspended without
breathe
the dream within
the voices calling
a song
a prayer
from deep inside you
to guide you
breathe
the dream within
the night is shining
i fly above the wind
salvation begins
look beyond
where hearts can sleep
dream in peace
trust love
believe
we tremble in space
suspended without....
ahhhh....
(instrumental)
free
the dream within
the stars are crying
a tear
a sigh
escapes from heaven
and worlds end

Done: Classes,
Paid $100 on University bill (it's only $35 now!)

On my list for the rest of the day:

Getting mail at PO Box
Getting laundry done
Getting cleaned up
Nap
Getting meal points cashed in
Dance tonight (YAY!)

Probably not in that order, although the dance starts at 7pm. So I won't be on until Sunday morning, most likely (Friday's dance and Saturday is a young singles conference, so I'll be "good busy")

Well, just got this single while I was in Poplar Bluff - for the second song, really (his version of "When You Say Nothing At All" - I'll think I'll buy this album now that I've heard this song)



Got some other CD's:

Sharlene Wells Hawkes - Song Of The Morning Stars
The Jets - Love Will Lead The Way
Kaci - Paradise (single)
Cyndi Thompson - What I Really Meant To Say (single)
Lila McCann - Come A Little Closer (single)

Well, Jamie just stopped by (4pm yesterday) (she's the girlfriend of one of the people in my hall last year, as well as this year - she's a CA this year...) She's doing well. She tells me Adam will be back tomorrow...

As for me, last week I spent with my family - got all of my stuff moved out that I wanted to keep. Had fun with them as well. Brothers and sister are still growing. Can't believe how big my youngest brother is getting now!

This week I've been up in Columbia getting things organized and all that.

I know I can't wait for them to go to Japan in some ways, but I'll miss them, too!

Speaking of Japan - that's like a 95% chance they're going now... Most of the paperwork has gone through, but they're still waiting on a few things.

Gotta go eat and do other things - I'll get this submitted.

Just miscellaneous everything from this past week...

I just heard this song last Wednesday - I'm buying the CD next time I hit Wal-Mart! This song is too good to miss. Doesn't fit anything in this entry, but I wanted to use it anyway.

I just can't believe I'm so tired yesterday and today? What's up with me?

My roommate got me a NICE set of headphones - I take it that's a hint that he doesn't like my music, which is strange... but oh well. I do like them...

IWell, ended up finding out what was causing my back trouble - would you believe I had stuff (boxes) piled too high underneath my bed? I ended up having to rearrange it. It took 3 days for my back to completely go back to normal, but it's normal now.

Got two tests early next week (tomorrow and Tuesday), and my four week history class starts tomorrow... Same day as my girlfriend has her operation - they say it looks like cancer. I'm calling her in a half hour (she asked me to before she goes to sleep tonight). Hopefully (if she's well enough) I'll be going down there on the 20th or the 27th.



Almost got my MP3 CD's set to burn... I think I'll do that tonight...

Like the lovefest hilderbee is putting up... Recommend going and reading it.. Maybe I'll have to start??? (when will I have the TIME???)



The class I added ended up being a History class... Fundamentals of Russian History.

At any rate, my degree plans after Fall semester is over should look like this:
Major: 5 CS classes left [15 credits]
Minor: DONE!
Language: German 3 left [3 credits]
General Ed: 2-3 classes left [6-9 credits] - has to be 100 level or above on 0-399.

So I should be done in 2002 summer or fall, depending on how much I want to push it!

Last week...

Went on a date Tuesday with a local lady (older than me by a few years) to go see Tomb Raider. That movie was FUNNY. We'll be going out again.

My back ended up hurting me so bad that I went to the Student Health Center to see what was wrong Thursday. Started earlier in the week, but it got so bad Wednesday and Thursday that I walked over there (it's an hour walk) and they gave me some stuff for it. They said it sounds like I pulled a muscle.

Ended up getting myself some computer parts and other stuff. Got myself an external CD burner (and the USB expansion card so that I could install it!), a portable CD player that'll play burned MP3 CD's (REALLY nice), an optical mouse, and some rechargable batteries and a charger to go with the CD player (I don't like burning through batteries like breakfast!).

Other than that, pretty uninteresting week.

I'm in a sad mood because of a new friend of mine... One of her friends ended up dying at school Tuesday and she'll be going to his funeral tomorrow and she was talking about it. I told her if she needed to talk after the funeral, that I'd be there for her. So I'll be on Yahoo Messenger as soon after 4pm tomorrow as I can get back home.

My grade in German 1 is in limbo right now - I'll know what it is tomorrow (actually today now) in the afternoon, whether it's a C- or D+. I'm hoping for a C-, because that'll let me go on to German 2. Yeah, the situation is that close.

My other grades are going to be A's unless I completely flub something. The lowest grade I could get in any other class would probably be a B or a B+, and that's in my Irish History class.

Girlfriend/dating situation? Non-existent at the moment, although there are some possibilities. (more will be in a friends-only entry... no need for prying eyes to see.)

Finals are next week, then I do some traveling - to my grandmother's for two weeks, to my family for one, and then back here for summer session. I need to go to bed. I'll add more about this later.

Well, it finally happened... She broke up with me. Doesn't even want to talk with me anymore. Probably found someone else... Well, that's her decision and I'm willing to live by it. Doesn't mean my feelings weren't hurt, because they still are hurting. But I wish her the best in whatever direction she decides to go.

That happened last night...

Feeling lonely, mostly. It's a Friday, and I have nothing to do until Sunday but homework and watch TV. Might just go stir crazy.

At any rate, these last two weeks have had their ups and downs. Sometimes seem like bottomless downs, but I'm climbing out. I was about ready to put "despondent" for my mood earlier today, but I've got some music on and that'll help.

Been playing everything from Angela Via to Belinda Carlisle to get more upbeat.

But it sounds like I may already have found myself another girlfriend. I've been talking to her for a few months. She lives down in Southwest Missouri, about 5 hours from where I'm at. Longer distance... if I wasn't already falling for her, I think I'd give up on long-distance relationships altogether.

And she's interested in me!

We haven't met yet... I'm hoping to meet her the last weekend of this month or the second weekend of May.

Here's another verse of the song I'm listening to right now:

If your heart's been lonely and you've been afraid to try
Sorrow's kept you company and the dance has passed you by
I'll lift you up and blaze with you across the moonlit sky
On the night before Christmas

That's kind of how I'm feeling right now. Lonely, but I've got a friend who's willing to "lift you up and blaze with you" right now. That helps.

Well, dances went well tonight...

At the first dance at my church, I danced with most everyone. Danced with one girl twice. There was one other girl that I wanted to dance with again, and one I wanted to see there that wasn't. Oh well, I'll see her tomorrow.

The second dance was at my dorm's common building. It was pretty good. I had fun. Only knew 5 people there, however.

I seem to be holding my own on the "friends of" count - but since I just added 3 people who were on that list (kenwedin, sebab, jav, nice to meet you by the way.) to my own friends list because they weren't on there, I wonder who the three people were who dropped me... I mean, I haven't insulted anybody that I KNOW of (if I DIDN'T know about it, please tell me so I can apologize!)

Oh well. Such is life.

Now that I'm back, I need to wind down and go to bed... See you tomorrow. (or should I say today?)

Well, I haven't been able to post for a while, so here are things...

Last Sunday was a testimony meeting... The theme seemed to be children and families, as everybody was glad about seeing so many visit. Some of my friends from my hometown even showed up. [their sister/sister-in-law was the one that just had a new baby]. It was fun to talk to them.

Monday afternoon, I look to my right and see somebody I knew from church in my history class. After half a semester I finally notice! We both must have been too busy taking notes from the lecture to notice each other. I told her I'd see her tonight (she's in my family home evening group) and things went well.

Monday evening was a fun family home evening. A friend of mine did a presentation. (not the one I noticed earlier in the afternoon) It was good. I'll be doing the spiritual thought next week.

Wednesday I had my advisor appointment. I found out I HAD gotten off probation last semester after all. Good news, except that now it was time to rush through a change of division form so I could graduate with a BA in computer science instead of the BS... If I wanted to transfer this semester, I had to do it by Friday the 9th! I still have 4 semesters if everything transfers as expected and all classes are passed (3 full semesters at 12-14 cr. each & 1 summer semester at 6 credits), I just wanted to get it done!

My advisor told me to get the form from the Engineering dean's office, get them to fill out the one part, and then take it to the Arts and Science advisement office and see if I can get a waiver on the "Area of Concentration" form that Arts and Science requires. They took one look at my transcript (which has 104 semester credits of transfer courses plus 9 credits completed here) and they looked at me like I was crazy... They said I'd have to get my transcript evaluated and then get an AofC completed and that it'd take too long.

I went back to my advisor and told them what they said, and she asked if we wanted to try and get an AofC done Thursday. "Yes. Let's get this done." is what I said to that. We got that done Thursday (after I had to wait 2 1/4 hours for an open spot in her appointments) and the person I needed to talk to at A&S wasn't going to be in until Friday 1pm. My advisor really needs an assistant - she's the advisor for all the CS majors here, both BA and BS!

Thursday evening was a 2 hour review session for my History of Ireland midterm... Talk about a lot of information! I needed it, too. I've got to start rereading the textbook and my notes soon!

I got back to A&S at 1:00 on Friday. Had to wait only 1 hour this time for somebody to talk to me. I told him I had given them my transcript Wednesday (that's what scared them into wanting an AofC from me in the first place), he couldn't find the transcript evaluation person, so he just signed the form and had me sign a contract to get an AofC in Computer Science in by May 15th for him so we could deal with that AFTER the registration rush and spring break. Since I had it in hand (although it may need revised based on what the transcript person says), I said OK to that.

Ran the change form (now that it had been approved by A&S) to the right place after my history class, and then I had to wait 1 hour for my registration. (later this entry)

Have two dances to go to tonight. Anybody from where I'm at brave enough to go with me? She isn't, through no fault of her own (I talked to her two days ago... she had to go somewhere again with the person she's living with. Such is life. That person should be leaving by Apr. 1st... I'll hope for earlier, that way I can see her over spring break!)

Registration:
I registered Friday afternoon for most of my classes:

Summer 2001:
History 217: History of Religion in pre-Civil War America (2nd 4 weeks only)

Fall 2001:
German 2 (IF I get a C- or better in German 1 - right now I'm hanging on for dear life!)
Music 21: Masterpieces of Western Music (I'm repeating it, and the teacher is recommended by a friend of mine.)
CECS 231: Systems Analysis 1 (my first writing-intensive course, and a required one)
Stat 150: Introduction to Probability and Statistics (required course for BA CS majors)

After this and the course mentioned below, it's 5 CECS courses, of which 3 are mandatory, German 3, and another history course (which will be my 2nd writing-intensive) and I'm graduated! That makes 7 courses.

CECS department is not sure that they're running one course I want this summer. If they do it, I'll take CECS 233, which is a Object Oriented Programming class in Java. If not, I'll just swap it with Music 21, because the same teacher is offering it in the summer, as well, and 233 will be offered in the fall in a decent time slot, but I'd rather not have two hard (outside of major) courses in the summer if I can avoid it!

Well, I'm not working any more this week, I'm just doing my thing.

Did moderately well on my German quiz Wednesday. Not as well as I expected, but at least I didn't get an F on it! Did better on my OPI apparently, as I'm still hovering at C level.

Classes on Friday are now done. Got two assignments and a test to study for tonight and Saturday.

Called the gf last night - she couldn't talk long, her father isn't doing too well, and she was planning on heading up to be with him. I hope everything turns out all right with him, and that things go all right for her.

Watched Survivor this afternoon [I videotape my shows just in case I miss them] Was still surprised by exactly what happened. When they said it was reality TV, they meant it! Too bad for Michael, having to go off the show that way.

Well, I called her tonight. She had reason for not calling me (the cell phone didn't work!) so I can accept that. We're back together now...

I need to head to bed. I just washed up

Finally got gnapster to work, too, along a few other things. Running Mozilla 0.8 at the moment on Linux (I can see why they want a 233MHz computer for it!, although it is pretty fast on those.)

I'll figure things out eventually, but for now, I'm going to bed.

Well, I've caught myself a cold for sure. GREAT!

I had to be sick during the tests yesterday. I bombed the German test - I need to do better in that class if I expect to pass it. The other test (the computer class) I passed in flying colors.

I released my LiveJournal client last night (the one I'm using now...). cclj 0.04!

I'm still sick, but that's life.

Things are going well otherwise. I'm still coughing, but I've took some Tylenol, so I'm not headachey. My GF is off to her parent's for the week. She REALLY needs to de-stress (she even says this), and this will do it.

I have three exams in the next two days - everything but my history class (which will not have a test until March 5th! Nice!) - and a quiz today (the German class, would you believe? With a test tomorrow, too!)

Things are going well with the gf now (and I thought I was going to have a horrible Valentine's day because I was going to have to pause the relationship for a while until she got her life in order), but things change. I guess I didn't have reason to be depressed. Certainly not since I called her this morning...

Well, I've got to be studying for the German quiz... More LJ'ing later.

Well, she ended up getting sick at work and couldn't come up. She has two alternate plans for Thursday, however. So we'll see what happens in that department. Hopefully she feels a little better soon. I'm not mad, still a little frustrated... but we talked for a while this morning and everything should be all right.

Classes went well. Have to head to the chapel in an hour for FHE...

A little sad now - This is the first time I've listened to this particular song closely, and it turned me into a ball of tears. Why, I don't know, but the chorus seems to pull on my heartstrings... "I am Rosemarie's granddaughter, the spitting image of my father, and when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan. Sometimes, I could have said I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me, and they know just where I stand. It's all a part of me, and that's who I am."

I get way emotional, I know. Maybe it's because I know that I can always call my mom, and I've got a few friends that are willing to help me. One will be coming Thursday, hopefully, (yeah, she's a friend, as well as being my girlfriend - I wouldn't want it any other way) and I'll be seeing one or two others in 2 hours. Heck, I should call one right now and get my home teaching set up for this week.

Gotta make a few phone calls... I'll see what I want to put on a tape for her (problem is, I've got to do it off my CD's, otherwise, I'd have a few REALLY good songs on there from my MP3 collection. As it is, I should have enough good ones for a whole tape. I'll head to the bookstore on the way out...)

You guys have any good ideas? Maybe I have them where I can record them. I have a few:

Rigoletto OMPS - The Melody Within
Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
Amy Grant - Galileo
Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You
Rigoletto OMPS - Let Me In [I want to end with this one]

Well, I can't believe it's Monday morning again.

My classes went well last week. My history class is a little scary - one midterm, one final, and THAT'S IT? Gotta do well on THOSE tests. Other than that, everything seems to be fine in that department.

Lonely is because of the weekend... My gf was supposed to come up this weekend on Friday morning, but her boss tells her that the two of them had to be in to work from 8pm Thursday until 2pm, then she falls asleep instead of coming up with her boss. I end up going to a dance without her. It was fun, but would have enjoyed it a lot more if she was there. Saturday morning, she tries calling some people. One person says she'll bring her up here after work at 2:00pm and then goes home and tells her husband that if my gf calls, she's not there. Finally found that out at 4:30pm. THAT'S LOW. Another friend calls her and asks if she can spend the night... She agrees and also asks the friend to take her up there Sunday morning when she gets up. Her friend gets up Sunday morning and wants to do everything but take her up to Columbia like she said she would... I call at 10:00 because I have to leave for a meeting at 10:30... "Hopefully we'll be up there by the time the meeting's over." I get back at 11:30. She's still at home, but tells me her stuff is in the car and her friend will be ready to leave in 15 minutes. 12:15 rolls around. My gf finally calls and tells me she blew up at her friend for not being willing to help her. She says to call after church. I call then. She has to go in to work, her boss can't take her up because she's staying in Jeff City instead of going back home (in Columbia for her), but she can talk to somebody at work and get here this morning and that she'll call after work (6am)! I hope she calls. I'm just getting frustrated this weekend!

Basically, I had to wait around most of the weekend and nothing happened!

She's not evading me, I know that much, although it feels like it. She says that she has a possibility of getting here Thursday morning if this morning doesn't work out... We can only hope it works out. I told her if she's not up there by this Friday afternoon, I'm taking the bus down to Jeff City so that all she has to do is find me a ride for the 6 miles from Jeff City to her house, rather than the 35 miles to Columbia. EVEN THOUGH I have to work on Sunday morning next week. We haven't seen each other since early December... I want to see her really bad.

She wants to find a place up here in Columbia, too, so she doesn't have to deal with this again... I've told her I'll help. I'll start calling tomorrow morning whether she can get up here or not...

Well, I've been in Columbia now for 3 days and I'm almost ready to head to the first day of work of the new semester. Why not write my entry so far?

I left for Columbia about 9am on Saturday. Got there at 1:30pm, and quickly unloaded my stuff inside my dorm building. My father left immediately afterwards. I had to carry everything I was moving in (a bedstand, a 19" TV, a microwave, 2 crammed suitcases, a backpack, and a board to use for shelving) up 3 flights of stairs.

After that, called a few friends, nobody was home. Left to try and get my paycheck from my last 2 weeks of the last semester... Payroll office was CLOSED! No money to get food to eat until Tuesday! Oh well, I packed snack foods, and the soda machines will take my student ID card. I just lived that way until Sunday night (the dining hall nearest to me opened Monday)

I picked up most of my books (returned 3 of the CECS 203 books - one because I already had it from when I took 103 last semester, and the other two I didn't think I'd need to pass the course) on Saturday. I still have to see about two of the history books that weren't here yet.

Friends called back, talked to them, worked on the computer all the rest of Saturday.

Went to church Sunday, did the normal things. Fireside in the evening - had popcorn and cookies (a relief from what I was eating, for SURE!)

Monday was a slow day. My girlfriend (I'm trying respecting her privacy by not calling her by name here) called about 2pm and I immediately realized that she could come up here tomorrow (then - it's today now) and asked her about it. She called back 3 hours later (had to arrange a ride) and said "Sure, I can do that." YES! After that, the day couldn't go by fast enough. Talked with friends, both old and new (helped a new move-in set up his network card)

I haven't been able to sleep tonight... She's coming right after I get off work (less than 4 hours from now!)

At any rate, this is a song I find particularly appropriate in my life... Here's the second half:

And if a heart's breaking, a part of me's aching
to show them how much that I care,
But if no one lets me or turns and forgets me,
then how, how can I share?

There is a part of fairy tales that's very near the end,
the princess and the prince proclaim their love.
And hearts are healed and souls are changed,
and two blend into one,
All orchestrated by the stars above.

But when I stand at the door of my dreams
and face a lonely heart calling for me,
I could fill that emptiness within,
if that heart would let me in.

Won't someone let me in?

Just talked with the gf for two hours on Yahoo messenger, mostly about plans for Saturday...

I can't wait to get back up to Columbia. If all plans go well, I'll leave Friday afternoon, get there Friday evening, send my brothers off Saturday morning, then meet up with her for the rest of the day (and hopefully longer)... We'll see how things go.

Ordered my books Sunday morning - $370! OUCH! That's textbooks for you! (Every class but one wants multiple textbooks (and tapes in the case of my German class))

I've got: (used prices)

History 203 - 3 books - 2 of them are $37.50 total, plus one I don't know a price yet!
Computer Science 203 - 4 books, $167.25 total! Two are recommended, and I may just end up returning them to get $61.50 back!
Computer Science 126 - 1 book, $38.85.
German 1 - 3 books and 1 set of cassettes - $110.00, but it looks like I'll be using these through German 2, so I can live with that. 1 book and the cassettes are recommended, but I'll need all the help I can get!

Then add $20 in tax.

I'd better get to bed...

Just for clarification - my gf thought I was mad at her when I wrote the entries on the 20th - NO I WASN'T. I was frustrated with life - there's a big difference! (And yes, she reads this journal - I mentioned it to her 2 days ago when I was able to chat with her. Maybe she'll start one?) At any rate, I'll be talking with her later on today on the phone (3 hours + - I can't wait... time to make sure I have her number and a phone card)

At any rate, my Christmas - I didn't get much, but being a student, I wasn't able to get much, either. I had my parents get me a TV, because I don't want the computer being the ONLY thing I do when I have a break and I don't want to be with people... Other than that, just clothes (which I got before Christmas - I was getting desperate there!) My brothers and sister got what they wanted... (Age Of Empires II Conquerors expansion for the 17 y.o., can't remember what the 15yo got, 13yo got Red edition Game Boy Pokemon game, 9yo sister got her PooChi and some Barbies...)

I ended up handing out the presents, because I didn't have anything to unwrap (I don't want to take the TV out until I get back to Columbia - this house already has 2.)

I was alternately asleep and awake on Christmas... I couldn't get on the computer or out of the house to do anything else, so... what else was there to do?

The song below is one of my favorite Christmas songs - Recommend this to anybody who wants to listen to good music... (but then, my definition of good music is probably NOT the same as yours! Just ask my brothers their opinion of my music!) I do have to admit - "The heart of this Christmas is in you and me..." - It's not easy remembering "the reason for the season" on Christmas, let alone the other 364 days of the year...

Better post this, the computer needs to be restarted. (Windows Media auto-update)

Well, today was a slow day... I'm just recovering from the trip 2 days ago and staying up until 3 to install software - got more software to install, but I figure I'll do some of it tonight... Other than that, a slow day.. Just missed talking to her tonight - I'll try and do it tomorrow, but my dad likes to play his game...

Well, I haven't done this for a while, so I figure I need to catch up on what's happened in my life. I finally got frustrated with the dance class about 5 weeks ago... I wasn't learning fast enough to keep up with the class. So I stopped going. I'm still friends with the girl from church that goes - just not as good as we used to be.

Finals went pretty well - I failed one class, the other 3 have A-'s and B-'s. (one could be a C+, I'll find out) I'll end up with a 2.27 or 2.05 GPA at best, depending on how many places they take the grades to here. Hopefully only one place (that's where I get the 2.27...)

Ended up starting to look through personals ads on the computer. (I think I mentioned this earlier.) Went down some dead ends at first, but I've found somebody hopefully. We've gone on one date - which went very well. It just was too short. She'll be coming up here tomorrow for another, I hope. (She was planning to come up today, but things didn't turn out as planned on her end, so she couldn't make it. The reason I'm irritated is that her insensitive roommate had her running around doing his stuff and then wouldn't help her by taking her up here!)

My first semester in the cafeteria has finally finished. I'm glad, although they've found something I'm good at - cooking breakfast... I've done the pancakes, french toast, and sometimes the scrambled eggs in the mornings for what must be a month and a half now... The problem was that I got so tired after working for 7 hours that it affected the one class I had the same day really bad. That's the class I failed.

And yes, I'm coming back to the cafeteria, although I'm NOT working 7 hours in one day next semester. I've learned my lesson. I'll be working Tuesday-Thursday from 6:30 to 10:00 and alternate Sundays from 7:30 to 10:30.

Ended up getting a roommate in early November - but he just moved out Monday night. He couldn't take me waking up at 5:30 in the morning to go to work when he didn't have to get up until 9. Oh well, we'll see who they assign me for next semester.

Monday night, I ended up going bowling with some of my church friends. Actually made 2 strikes the second game before my shoulder started going out on me.. Made a 65. Had lots of fun.

Finally, something about my dance class - last week was just great. I was finally starting to get things down. I got one of those sequences they're trying to teach us for the first time. I got to dance with my friend a few times, even. She was very nice about it, even when I messed up!
Afterwards, she knew that some of our common friends were going bowling - I ended up being dragged (can I use that particular word if I went willingly?) along because some of her friends that go to the dance class didn't want her walking alone. Had fun bowling until my shoulder started hurting... Oh well. Life's a pain sometimes.

My computer was too close to the heater - I had to jiggle my room around a lot this week.

General Conference for me means a lot of traveling back and forth to the church in one weekend - which means I need to get a lot of rides, and since I go to all 5 sessions (who'd make sure they got recorded, all the stuff set up, and the other little things otherwise? I'm the one responsible for that here.) I get tired. I think I slept through about 1 talk a session or so. Still had some very good ones. The Saturday morning one by Sister Nadauld I wish some of my female friends would have heard. (the ones NOT in the Church, even.) There were other good talks... I'll have to do another entry later about that subject alone.

Saturday night after Priesthood session I ended running to get ready and meet somebody. We ended up meeting and she ended up not being able to talk - she had to get back home. She said that we'll have to talk Tuesday. Hopefully something will happen there.

Friday (I know, I'm jumping around, it's just how I remember things!) evening I ended up walking to the church in order to clean it up... Did my shopping after that, ended up playing walking basketball for a few hours, and then headed to somebody's apartment to watch Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation with 5 other people... I always get a kick out of the reference to Esperanto (which is something I'm interested in) that they put in the movie ("Buster: Music is the international language... Babs: Music? I thought it was Esperanto!") - at any rate it gave me an interesting conversation topic. I even brought one of my books on the language to Conference on Sunday to show a few people. One of these days I'll have to take a few classes at the University of Hartford or San Francisco State to learn the language...

Will write more about my weekend later - it was a busy one, not a boring one for a change.

Today has been a slow day (which is why I'm listening to this upbeat song). I've just been dragging today... maybe I need to get things out of my head. I had enough sleep, but it feels like I haven't, even with sodas trying to keep me awake. My political science class was cancelled today... the teacher was sick. Good thing, because I don't think I could have handled going to it today.

Had a better weekend than usual. I'll start in the middle, so to speak. Saturday night, a few of my dorm friends took me out to a dance club. An adventure, to be sure. This was my first time doing anything like this, and I was very nervous. Maybe if it wasn't so crowded. I'm just not comfortable with the explicit (best word I can type) dance style at that particular time. It's just not me. I don't think I could go again. Maybe on a swing night or something... I don't really know. I'll have to think it over.

I wish I hadn't spoken up so fast that night. I told one of the people I went with "Sure, I could use a roommate." That happens to be true, but he needs to be willing to understand my lifestyle, and I'm not sure that this particular person would be agreeable to the type of environment I want my room to be. He probably could understand "programmer's hours" and me being on my computer a lot, but the fact that I wouldn't care for alcohol or "horizontal entertainment" (to use a euphemism) in the room he probably wouldn't understand. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to tell him the straight truth when he shows up again...

Saturday afternoon I talked to my family. They're doing well. We talked about how I'm going to get there for Thanksgiving. I suggested that my oldest younger brother come up and spend a night up here - but I'm also wondering if the girls would be after him. I mean, he is a handsome young man (as my mother says - and I have to agree with her!), and I think the girls would be all over him if they were here, but at the same time, he's only 17, and if I'm leaving for Thanksgiving, the girls would be, too. I'd like to be able to show him off, however! That and it's a 5 hour trip - by himself - to get here, and he isn't exactly the best for following directions. He missed a turnoff when he did a 1 hour trip by himself in a familiar area! I'd certainly like him to come up, however. We'll see what happens. I like my grandfather, I just don't think he could handle a night up here, nor would I want him to. His health isn't the best, and he'd be the other possibility.

Also talked to one of my church friends that afternoon - it happened to be her birthday, and I had found out, so it was only polite to call her. It was nice to be able to talk to her. Who knows, maybe I'll ask her out soon. Probably next weekend rather than this one - we'll see what happens after General Conference.

Sunday I called somebody I've been talking to over the computer for a while - problem is, we couldn't talk long, and I fell asleep when I was supposed to call her back. OUCH! Hopefully she's free this week. I'd like to meet her in person. I'll have to get back in touch with her again tonight.

I'll be going to my ballroom dance class in a few minutes - another reason to play a song from a dance scene (between Emmy and Jonathan in the movie - I need to rent it one of these days...) That class is going well, I'm getting along with the one "female friend" from church I have in the class as well. She may have a boyfriend, but I don't really know for sure. May have to ask her.

At any rate, I'd better sign off... I have to run up to the class. Maybe I'll finally put something up in detail about it tonight.

This weekend has been BOR-ING for me. Friday night -- well, I can't exactly go on a group date without a date, and it looks like most of my friends at the dorm are out of town. As for Saturday, I had to work for 5 hours. Work was moderately easy compared to the last few days - they just had me doing the swiper's job and cleaning up afterwards. One complication was that 300+ guest passes were given out for lunch due to a guest day at the university. That went all right. After that, I went to "Coyote Ugly" (by myself - and I walked the 2 miles to the theatre - the person I was planning to bring had cancelled out on me Friday... I had a reason for feeling bad yesterday...), which was a pretty good movie. Would have been funner if I had brought somebody, but oh, well. All I have to do is to go to church and do my laundry this morning and until 10am Monday. Another yawner of a weekend in the middle of nowhere.

No such luck finding somebody to go with me on that group date tonight - the few girls I know well enough to ask are either impossible to contact or have already been asked to it by other guys! Oh well. I shouldn't worry about it that much (even though I do anyway...)

Well about last Saturday... It started with me waking up at 6 to get ready for a ride (who I had forgotten to arrange with that he needed to pick me up for the breakfast - I ended up waiting for 30 minutes before going back in and calling his family), a breakfast at the church and a speaker (I forget his name, I was too tired to think after 4 hours sleep!). Then we did service projects - I went to the Ronald McDonald house by University Hospital with 3 other people... Ended up having fun washing out bedrooms. After that it's time for lunch. I asked my friends to drop me off at the cafeteria while they found someplace else to eat. Did that (ended up running into a few friends) and on the way back to the church, ended up getting into a car accident! Didn't get anything more than bumps and bruises... I got back 30 minutes late for the second choir practice... After that, I pulled up some floor to take a nap for a bit (I was feeling the lack of sleep), had dinner, two workshops (I really liked the first one I went to), and then a meeting in the chapel, where I sang the songs we had been practicing [did I mention that they were the "As Sisters In Zion/We'll Bring the World His Truth" medley and "Let Zion In Her Beauty Rise"?] and then listened to the director for the "City of Joseph" pageant. After that, there was another dance - I was feeling a lot better DURING this one, other than the occasional aches and pains... Afterwards, I could barely move - certainly couldn't get up stairs without help... must have done something to the one hip. At any rate, I needed two people to help me get up the stairs to my room. Had fun, anyway.

Amother day of work (I work Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday because of the way my class and social schedule is set up.) that went a lot better than the last time... My brain was only starting to get fried instead of scrambled (omelets this time, folks?) I could get used to this...

I'm supposed to find a girl to bring on a GROUP DATE?!? Well, that's what I need to do for Friday night. It's some of my church friends organizing this, so no, don't volunteer for going with me on this, even if you know where I live, unless you KNOW you fill the bill. Where we are going, I don't know, and hopefully the girl I'd like to take is not already being taken... (I have a FEW options in that department, folks. Nobody specific will be mentioned here.) I'm going 'GULP' about asking somebody after not dating for more years than can fit on one hand... I've tried asking girls out here twice - they both had other boyfriends! (boo! hiss!) I'm not even interested in a "girlfriend" yet... Just would like to meet some of the fish in my local sea (You know how they say "there's always other fish in the sea"...)

About the youth (actually young single adult) conference for my church - That went really well, as I mentioned. My only troubles were transportation-related, because the conference was 5 miles away, and if I try walking that far, my legs are dead for doing anything else. I almost ended up trying last Friday. I walked down to the bus stop at Providence & Stadium, asked what time it was - 30 minutes early - and decided to walk to the next stop. Problem is, there is NO next stop for at least a mile and a half along that route, as I found out the HARD way. Someone finally picked me up 30 minutes later (I hadn't seen the bus yet) and took me the rest of the way to the conference, where I went to a choir practice and then a dance before heading home. (with somebody else after THEY heard about this stunt) Didn't know who she was at the time, but figured she had to know me from somewhere or else why would she be pulling over? Ended up dancing with her once Friday and once Saturday - a really nice person. Who knows? Danced with a lot of other girls that night, including one who also goes to the ballroom dancing class - but we didn't try anything we had learned, as my feet were not up to it after that walk and I'm not comfortable enough with it yet. I had to walk 2/3 mile to get to the FIRST bus stop I mentioned from where I had attended my job orientation, then add 1 1/2 miles to that... I think you get the idea. I'd better get off so I can get ready for class... Discussion on Saturday will be in the next entry.

No music this time, I was listening to classical music for an ongoing class assignment.